oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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