Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
