apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize