i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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