at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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