Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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