Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
