dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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