ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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