Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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