My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
