he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Ladies don't puke and tell
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
