I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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