We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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