I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
