Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
