I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
