In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
