Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
