All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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