okay pat passed out under dana's car
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
