he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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