I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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