2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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