Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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