did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
