i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
