Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ketchup is God's man juice
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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