Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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