I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
