We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
