I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
