Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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