Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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