another moral hangover. fuck.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize