Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
