are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
