Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
