well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
