I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
