oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
