i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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