lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
