My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
even my farts smell like vagina
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
