do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
