Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
