brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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