This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
