who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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