I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
