guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Houston, we have a squirter
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
