this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
