if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
