I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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