She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
