so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
