I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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