I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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