Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
