How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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